Friendships
for children and adults are vital for our well-being.The
way we model those relationships are an important part of great/grandparenting. We know from our own experience that without
our friends, we might be lost, unhappy and downright miserable. They help us keep our balance, make us more
thoughtful and give us encouragement when we need it. They also can help us see when we are
off-base and in need of some corrections.
So,
children also need friends that can support them, as well as make them laugh,
be happy and playful. Children do not always
come to this easily. As adults, we (at
least we hope) do not put up with bullying or taking advantage of someone less
fortunate than we are.
But
too often children may be bullied or be a bully with other children,
because
they have poor models: the popular girl
that makes fun of another child who is a threat to her being or the boy that
makes fun of a child that cannot run as fast as he can, or kick the ball as far
as he can. These children may be
considered desirable "friends" because they seem to be enjoying their
popularity or skills. But it is
important for children to see beyond these traits.
Our
adult friends may not be perfect in every way, but we hope that we can see
beyond the outer beings and be grateful for their inner traits that are aligned
with our values, hopes and dreams.
Talking to our great/grandchildren about how Jack has been a good friend
because he is goes out of his way to help, when we need him. Molly is a "gem" because she
listens to our problems and will sympathize when we need that sympathy; or will
suggest ways to solve them; or will tell us when we off base.
It
is not the good-looks or the superior skills that count it's being able to
share the good and the bad with someone you trust that makes the
difference. Pointing this out to our
children's children, as we struggle through every day to make their lives
better, is what really counts.
